I owned the day!

I saw a post getting around FB earlier this year, pretty sure I even re-shared it as I thought it was pretty funny! It said something along the lines of...

Some days we rock at this Mum thing some days we just wish we didn't have kids!

I woke up today and thought to myself... I am going to own this day! And I did!

Yesterday was the first day of holidays so I revelled in the 9:23am sleep in and moseyed through the day. Went and did groceries with four children... as I forgot to do click and collect! That was super fun! It was a good lazy day, everything was still done, but I didn't really do anything above the ordinary. You know, the beds got made, everyone was fed, probably yelled a few too many times, left overs for dinner and kids went to bed late...

So today I set out to conquer the day! I did still really enjoy my 9am sleep in! Minus Frankie coming in twice and waking me from my snoozing to tell me he wanted me to put the big Gorilla TV show on... He must of found something else to do as he stopped asking.

Anyway, so Charlie, Lucie and I emerge from my bed at 9am. We all have breaky, I make all the beds, strip the sheets off my bed. Dry and fold 2 loads of washing, Charlie has a nap.

Make all the kids lunch and feed them before leaving at 12pm with Callie and Charlie (thanks Mema for looking after the other two munchkins). The two C's and I head off to the doctor's for Callie's health assessment to set up a health care plan. A health care plan for those who don't know is basically a care plan with 5 discounted sessions for an OT or speechie or both. So we finish off there and leave with our health care plan. I'm smiling as ultimately this will be super helpful to Callie girl and will help ease the pinch on our wallets. OT and Speech isn't cheap!

We do a quick stop at the shops for face wash... I only forgot it 4 times the week before! So that is a win in my books!

Drop off some Scentsy orders, fill up the car with fuel for our trip to Mackay tomorrow. (You're welcome Jared).

We get home at 2:30pm, between 2:30pm and 8pm I...

Dry and fold another load of washing, Callie has her tutoring session. Talk to one of my teamies about her upcoming first Scentsy party tonight (Hey Jewelz). Make a Lasagne, yell at the kids a couple times for making it rain Shopkins... (those little buggers are everywhere)!

There was a slight moment of chaos and one of my lovely customers popped over at that exact moment to pick up some Scentsy! I'll paint the picture of that moment she was greeted with on arrival at my front door... Charlie on his play mat crying for bath and bed. The lounge room trashed from master builder Franks, blocks as far as the eye can see. Callie and Frankie fighting over something, Lucie sprawled out on the couch watching YouTube on my phone. The Thermo beeping at me cause my béchamel sauce was ready. TV on in the background...

Those moments of chaos make it even more rewarding when you are on the edge of going "ahhh crap" and "OK I've got this!"

I totally had it tonight! Turbo Cassie came out right then and there.

Firstly I popped the Lasagne in the oven blitzed over the kitchen with a wipe, packed the dishwasher in record time. Put the kids dinner on the table, scooped up Charlie and bathed him and put him in his Jammies. It was then I remembered I hadn't re made the bed, as Charlie still sleeps in our room in the bassinet I knew that had to happen before I put him to bed.

Made our king size bed by myself! This is a feat on it's own!! The mattress is so big and bulky but that fitted sheet was smoother then a babies bottom when I was finished with it.

Fed Charlie and put him off to bed. The kids had finished dinner by this time so, bathed and jammied them up. Franks was a little champ and cleaned up his master mess.
Ate my dinner while it was hot! All of this before 7pm!

Then I put all three children to bed by 8pm!

Called Jared just to make sure he hadn't got lost... (he's helping his brother finish a job, so he's exempt this time.)

While I was showering after they were all asleep. I had a moment to reflect on everything I had managed to accomplish today. I gave myself a pat on the back and thought to myself...

You totally rocked the socks off today Cas!

This journey of motherhood...

So I find blogging really therapeutic, it helps me to process what's going on in my head and I also really enjoy writing and sharing. I have never been a super secretive person, I will tell you what's going on in my life if you ask. My close friends and family will tell you that... However on Facebook you obviously won't see what you would read here on my blog.

I feel like I can let it out and be real.

This year has been a really confronting year for me as a Mum, I have had a lot of changes and the picture I had painted for myself of how life with my children would be didn't go exactly to plan.

I have learnt a lot this year. I feel like I have grown up a lot! Maybe it was having my fourth baby? I feel like I have accepted everything it is to be Mum. The good the bad the ugly, this is my season of putting my babes before myself. My time will come, but for now there are other things happening with my children that I need to show up and be fully present. These are the important years, I will never have this time again so I need to make it worthwhile and be the best version of me. The best mum I can be. I am a role model in my children's lives and I've taken ownership of that. (This is not to say I don't need to take time for myself. That is so important! I need to look after me, so I can look after them, which I do).

So this year I guess you could say I was confronted with a few changes that took me a little while to get my head around.

I had a fourth child.

The pregnancy was pretty good, minus the 15 weeks of nausea and vomiting last year. Me wishing I could just curl up into a ball on the couch and everything would get done and someone would just be me for a bit. Just till I could function normally again!

The labour was amazing, Charlie was really easy on me and I felt like I bounced back to feeling normal fairly quickly. (I left hospital 5 hours after he was born!)

Now I don't think I have ever suffered from post natal depression as such. But I definitely do get a bit of OCD before bub arrives that tends to linger for a bit after bub comes along. The need to be organised, the need to have everything at home done so that I feel like I am winning.

Poor Jared probably got sick of me asking him if I was doing a good job? Everyone was telling me a I was a supermum and I felt like I had everything under control but I needed that reasuurance from Jared that I was in fact "winning" at this Mum of four kids thing. I needed to feel like I was rocking this mum gig!

The raging hormones that linger in your body from pregnancy and into breastfeeding really don't help! Then there's the post partum body you have to get used to. I try my hardest to go easy on myself and love my body for the amazing work it's done. But honestly I struggle! I really struggle with that post partum Mum bod! Call me vain or shallow or just real, but if I am to be 100% honest with myself and you I really struggle with the changes that pregnancy has on my body.

I love that my body has grown and carried four amazing little humans. It's such a miracle. I grew four little humans!!! Like it completely blows my mind when I really think about it, but the effect that it has on my body is hard for me to process and accept. I think the more children I have had I have cut myself a little more slack but it still does get to me.

Charlie minutes old - 06/06/2016

Let's back track before that little cherub of a boy entered my world...




So back in February I found out that Lucie needed glasses as her eye was turning in, I thought I had seen her eye start to turn but it didn't always happen and I didn't know if it was just because her eyes were so blue and the way she focused. Anyway, a couple of other people noticed it so I took her to the optometrist to get checked out. We were referred to a specialist (Ophthalmologist) as her eye was in fact turning in and she was given a prescription for glasses. The Ophthalmologist informed me she'd most likely need glasses till she was a teenager. It was all a bit of a blur, me trying to bribe her to stay still for the specialist and let him look in her eyes and trying to take everything in that they were saying. I didn't fully process exactly what this all meant.

We returned back to Emerald with our script and headed off to Spec-savers to choose some cute little glasses! It was all a little bit exciting. Lucie picked some cute little Disney princess themed glasses and her order was processed and we waited for them to arrive.

When they arrived, we went to pick them up, came home and she put them on! She looked so stinking cute! I took a couple of photos for family to see and uploaded them onto Facebook. The amount of people that commented and liked her photo and said how cute she looked was over whelming, in a good way! I think I really needed that. When I looked at her that night sitting on the couch, with her cute little glasses on, sucking her thumb and twirling her hair. I felt a sudden feeling of loss and tears came to my eyes. I felt a loss for her that she would have to wear glasses from now on, for the foreseeable future. I almost feel like I grieved a little for her, she rocked the heck out of them, but she had to wear them from now on! Then my mind started to wander... Did I do something wrong in pregnancy, is this somehow my fault?! Should I have seen a specialist sooner? Jared and I don't have any sight problems...  I didn't feel like I was winning...

Ultimately we did the right thing and I will never know if it has anything to do with anything I did. But the choice was out of our hands. This is what needed to happen to help her eye. If she didn't wear them, her eye would continue to turn in as her eye muscle was not strong enough.

Miss Lucie rocking her specs!

You don't realise what comes with a small child wearing glasses, they look so cute. But they are actually a bit of work. The constant cleaning, like 10 times a day!! Little children are messy! They get all sorts of stuff all over the lenses. When children cry with glasses on, tears dry on the glass and it's near impossible to see out of them. They throw them when they are angry, or sad, or mad. They take them off from time to time and then you're searching everywhere for them as said child doesn't remember where they are. (I am currently still trying to find a pair she's put somewhere) They get pushed into the inner part of the eye when they fall over or are pushed or rough housing. (Lucie always has little red marks in that area) They get scratched! Sometimes they just don't want to wear them. Lucie has been an absolute trooper and she now knows how much they help her and will wake up in the morning and put them on herself. But it has still been something we have had to adjust to.

I have said in an earlier posting that Lucie needing glasses was a blessing in disguise. Because of her troubles I had the other children's eyes tested and found out that Callie needed glasses, she has quite a strong prescription. She has learning difficulties and has made a lot of progress since she's had her glasses.

However needing glasses was not the only cause for her learning difficulties, so we have found out in the process of elimination. We have been seeing an OT and a speech therapist in order to help bridge the gap in the way that Callie processes things. The school has been amazing and I can not fault the support they have given her. Her teacher and teacher aide have implemented everything that has been suggested to help her and together we have made progress. We are still on the road to gathering all the information we need to best help her in the way she needs help. And to find out the way she processes information so we can work with her on her level.

My Callie girl.

Like I said earlier, when I first thought of how my life would look with children, I didn't have any of these little things in my painting.

I do however feel that I have grown as a mother and person for the better. I am doing everything in my power to figure out how to help Callie and that means I am "winning". Because really I am her biggest advocate and if I am not trying to do everything I can, who will? Lucie and Callie can both now see everything around them. This makes me happy! My babies can properly see this beautiful world we live in. I helped make that happen!

This journey of motherhood is full of speed bumps and hair pin corners that sometimes come out of nowhere and leave you with a flat or a leak. (Metaphorically of course, don't even get me started on boobs from feeding four children and sneezing after children).
The journey is unpredicatable, exhausting, draining, defeating at times...

But sooooo REWARDING, which makes it all so worthwhile!




Just in case you haven't been told in a while, from one Mum to another... YOU are "winning" at this mother thing!

#mumlife

You often see on social media #mumlife... what exactly does that mean?

To me #mumlife is a mixture of many different emotions, feelings and thoughts.

The one thing that stands out to me most when I think about being a mother is LOVE. I had never experienced a love like the love I have for my children.
It's the kind of love that fills every fibre of your body. The kind of love that keeps you up at night worrying about how they're going to get through in life. The kind of love that can make you tear up just thinking about how much you love those little souls who have blessed you with this label of Mum.
Being a mum is single handedly THE hardest thing I have ever done and THE best thing I have and will ever do. Being Mum is hard in all the good ways...

I've  had to learn to be selfless and put others before myself.
I've had to learn to be humble and admit when I am at fault.
I've  had to learn to be firm and follow through with warnings I have given, when it's much easier to just give in.
I've  had to learn to be forgiving and ask for forgiveness.
I've  had to learn to be patient, patience really is a virtue.
I've  had to learn to be tolerant and kind.

All the above traits I mentioned are a work in progress. They are traits that I sometimes fail at and sometimes exceed at.

I had to learn that although sometimes it feels like you lose a little bit of yourself in the depths of raising small children. You actually become a better version of yourself when you learn to forgive yourself of your short comings and accept the beautiful crazy mess that is #mumlife.

I like a lot of other mums, I'm sure had a vision of the kind of mother I wanted to be. A perception of what I thought #mumlife would be and the kind of mum I'd be... It's easy to have preconceived ideas about something until you actually are living it.

The reality is so much better then the idea of it was.

The raw emotions I've felt and experienced as a mother are beyond any idea I had of what I could feel.

The feeling you have when a newborn is placed on your chest for the first time is single handedly THE best experience I have and will ever have in this lifetime. I can remember each of my four childrens first minutes vividly. They are all unique and special in their own way.

When I found out I was pregnant with Frankie I went into a little bit of a panic, not knowing how I could possibly love anyone more then I loved Callie. How you love a boy compared to a girl? Would I love him as much? All these crazy ideas ran through my mind.
Towards the end of his pregnancy I just wanted him out, I was ready to love him and not be pregnant.
The minute he was placed on my chest, I felt like my heart had doubled in size. Loving him and his future siblings from the minute I met them was the esiest thing to do. The love just kept growing, it was actually easier to love the more children I had.

This #mumlife thing is full of so many emotions, feelings and thoughts. It's a long road of self discovery. I quite often feel like I'm failing and hope to goodness I'm not screwing my children up too bad on the way.

This #mumlife thing is the best thing I could have ever decided to do with my life, and it is just that! It's a life choice that I have made and I am extremely blessed and grateful that I get to do #mumlife with my four amazing, beautiful, incredible, precious and slightly crazy children!

It's a mans world..

**** Please keep in mind this blog post is meant to be comical and is based on a worst case scenario day in our house! My man is generally a pretty awesome, helpful guy!

Oh where do I even start!

I love my husband, like I really love that guy! He drives me insane but I love him to pieces!

Do you as a woman feel yourself saying... I NEED A BREAK!! Generally when you are just really having a bad day and you are just over it.

(Don't get me wrong, I do get breaks from time to time. But having a 3 month old breast feeding little bubba my free time has been limited lately.)

I've realised, I don't need a break, I just need to be a man for a little bit and I will feel good as new!

I am not saying Jared doesn't help me out, he does, majority of the time! But he sometimes lacks in consistency... and that's ok!

Lets just have a quick overview of my day in a nutshell... then we'll go over Jareds!

Cassie's weekday mornings: Get's up with my alarm at 7:15am or Charlie, whichever goes off first. Wakes up four children! This in itself can be a huge task. Charlie and Franks wake up happy every morning. Charlie is beaming the minute I look in his bassinet! Warms my heart and really I need it to prepare me for waking up the girls. If Callie and Lucie have had their required 12 hours sleep wake ups can be fairly pleasant. If these two little munchkins have not had their required 12 hours sleep... I would prefer not to wake them! If wake up time with Callie and Lucie doesn't start well the morning is normally pretty crap! Haha... true story!

It's then breakfast for four children. Boob for one, food for the other three. Generally cereal but can be a sandwich, yoghurt or fruit depending on how said children are feeling and I really can't be bothered picking fights that early in the morning. As long as they have food in their belly's before we leave the house I am happy!

We then get dressed for the day, this can take 5 minutes.. or 30 minutes. Again depending on the amount of sleep from the night before. Charlie is normally super quick, unless he pees during a nappy change! Seriously that kid has peed in his own face twice now! If he does give himself a morning shower then getting him dressed entails a bath first. Lucie is generally pretty happy to get dressed unless she is tired or Callie and Frankie have picked on her, then it takes a little longer. Franks is great, as long as the TV isn't on. Then I have to ask him about 50 times and turn the TV off so he can concentrate on the task at hand. Callie if in a good mood is quick. I normally help her get her tights on and she does the rest. If Callie is not in a good mood... well we generally have tears over her sock seam not lining up with her toes. Her undies not sitting properly, her hair clip digging into her, her shoes are suddenly too tight (funny, they fit fine yesterday and will tomorrow). Or she doesn't want to get dressed, cause school is stupid and why can't she stay home?!

So while the kids are eating breakfast and getting dressed, I run around like a mad woman... Making four beds, making three lunchboxes up, cleaning up after breakfast, putting away jammies. Dressing myself whilst helping the older three get dressed. Doing the girls hair, making sure their teeth are brushed. Breaking up any fights that may happen. Putting on a face and making myself look respectable whilst trying to keep an eye on the time to make sure we're not late.

8:20 comes, I ask everyone to get in the car. Children seem to have become deaf overnight... oh wait no they've always been deaf to my voice. I end up yelling... "Get in the bloody car!" Callie tells me off for swearing, the kids fight over who gets to get in the car first and everyone leaves their bags on the bench and expect the pack horse will get them.

I get in the car, start to reverse and realise I haven't eaten breaky and didn't feed the dog. So race back in to feed the dog and grab a banana on the way out.

Drop Frankie and Callie off and go about my day!

Jared's weekday morning: Wakes up, eats breakfast, sits on the toilet for half an hour. Get's dressed, comes in and kisses me goodbye. Off he goes to work.

Cassie's day: Can be anything from, two or three children in tow whilst doing groceries, cleaning, washing, Scentsy orders, play dates and appointments. Normally forget's to eat lunch or eats it around 2-3pm when tummy starts to growl.

Jared's day: What ever the boss asks and eating a hot meal prepared by yours truly for lunch.

Cassie's weekday after school/night time: Picks up the kids from school, comes home, more washing or folding. Meal prep, cooks dinner, fights with children to eat the dinner. Repeatedly tells children to eat their dinner, cleans up any spills or mess. Cleans up the kitchen, packs the dishwasher, runs the childrens bath, baths children, gets children in jammies and ready for bed. Makes sure childrens teeth are brushed. Mops up the bathroom after the bath and wipes down the bathroom as children seem to think it's great to splash water EVERYWHERE. If children aren't ready for bed before 7:30 then put's all four children to bed. Once children are asleep... Washing, folding, prepares for day ahead, packs Jared's lunch, has a little time to herself. Goes to bed at 11ish pm. Get's woken up anywhere between 3-5 times by four children for various reasons... Nightmares, wanting a feed, can't find their hairband, peed the bed... and nearly anything else you can think of!

Jared's weekday after school/night time: Comes home, plays on the computer, sometimes helps Callie with homework, sometimes plays games outside with the kids. Eats dinner, sometimes baths Charlie, sometimes helps Cassie with bathing kids. Is known from time to time to sit on the couch and play on ones phone whilst Cassie does all the above mentioned... if he is tired! Will put older two to sleep if they are ready for bed before 7:30pm. Goes to bed around 8pm. (Get's up really early, so don't blame the guy). Get's woken up once by a child getting in the bed, goes and sleeps soundly in one of the kids beds till morning.

When getting ready for a family outing... Cassie gets herself plus four children dressed and ready to go. Jared gets himself dressed, sit's on the toilet for half an hour then complains that Cassie takes so long to get ready and we are always late...

Seriously what is with men sitting on the toilet for so long?!

So what would happen if I decided to sit on the couch and play on my phone whenever I felt like it?

Hmmmm... nothing!

Haha in all honesty Jared can be great, amazing even! But the consistency is sometimes lacking... 

Now I could feel like I am a hard done by woman and hate on him etc... but this was the life I chose. I like a clean house, I like my washing up to date, I like to have a routine with four children as it's easier and the kids know what to expect. I know that all the above things need to be done on a daily basis so I do them. I choose to show up every morning and do what needs to be done, but sometimes it's fun to compare a "typical" mum's morning and night with a mans...

And... Everynow and then I would love to have a "Man's Day" or week... Whichever! I am not fussy.